In the time of stress,
I felt tensed, depressed, weak and alone. I felt as if I had no control or
power over my surroundings or my life. It felt like the dream where you want to
run away but somehow your feet don’t move. You try to pinch yourself in the hope
of snapping back into reality, only to feel a stinging pain. It felt like
staring at a swamp of failure and sadness with the chains of depression pulling
me inside. It felt like being inside a dimly lit room with the only light
fading with time. It felt like standing on the brink of a vicious abyss waiting
for the final push.
The cobwebs of the
newly woven world which I had created for myself isolated me from the people who
cared about me. As the pole star in the night sky to guide the lost sailor,
they had always been there. I just had to remove the clouds of diffidence that
had shrouded my vision. All along I had been looking for solace in the wrong
direction. This realization dawned upon me through a conversation with a fellow
scholar when he mirrored my feelings. How strange is it that the human heart finds comfort in the misfortunes
of others. Buoyed by the elixir of courage, I set out in defiance of my
introverted self to talk to my parents by explaining them my situation. After
talking to them, I felt ashamed and proud in the same moment. Ashamed of myself,
that I had underestimated their love and affection for their child and proud of
them, for being their son. They came out in full support for my condition and
even offered to come over. But my greatest consternation had fled now. The
weight of expectations was off my back. I felt like a free bird, teeming with
new reserves of energy, looking at the boundless sky to conquer. All other worries seemed irrelevant now. I had finally liberated myself from the shackles of
depression and stress. One of the worst periods of my life was thus over.
